Penelope Parsons

Penelope Parsons was a collector
a connoisseur of flaccid flesh
Any male who dared to court her
would surely lose his quarter
And that was nothing fresh
because she liked to plunder
All that men carried there under.

Penelope would swoon
caress and kiss
nder the light of the moon
And it was not all too soon
the man would realise something amiss
No longer would he croon
but instead scream like a Baboon.

One slash and it was off
and in hand Penelope took it
Then with a scoff
and a quick little cough
Penelope did pocket
the flaccid penis once tough
And screamed with delight “I’ve got it!.”

She terrorised the city
from morning ‘till night
And indeed gave no pity,
Folk created a hilarious ditty
Of a woman who would smite
men that showed their dicky
and soon cried in fright.

The police they did stumble
without evidence
they did fumble
But none were good to tumble
To Penelope’s presence
and so on and on she did rumple
All of mans essence.

But the day came
when Penelope caught was she
Most women thought it a shame
the woman so notorious and full of fame
Who chopped them off with glee
felt she was not to blame
Freeing men of their ‘treasury’.

Long ones. Short ones, thick ones as well
Was what the police found
And they could not tell
upon which penis which man did fell
So many men abound
looking for their dinky bell
But no penis did fit at all sound.

In the court the Judge did he
without remorse
sentence Penelope
For sure enough he could see
his penis swinging its course
And he knew it to be
that his penis would be safe from Penelope.

But alas it did pass,
Penelope escaped and caused an uproar
And on the streets the rumours were amass
of the penis plucker feeling crass
And it was sure to be that men would be sore
if the penis plucker plucked once more
But Penelope changed her mind and became a lass!.